Hi Kelley. My dad died of cancer, also, my mother died from Alzheimer’s a year later. My husband, who suffered from Parkinson’s disease fell and died a year after that. Honestly, I don’t understand any of it in terms of life plans. Like you, I had to watch them lose more and more parts of themselves over years of suffering, and it was terrible. My sister is in the last stages of Alzheimer’s and is unrecognizable. I don’t understand that either. Sometimes, I get scared wondering about what’s in store for me. I’m not afraid of dying, but I am afraid of suffering.
The Angels tell me that our souls plan our lives with universal knowledge, which we don’t have as humans. The goal of all souls is to learn lessons that bring them closer to God. Suffering, although the soul experiences everything we do, is secondary. At first, I was resentful of my soul, and I could not fathom ever choosing to live through seeing so many people I love suffer like they did, much less them choosing to do so. I felt like a puppet with no power, under someone else’s control.
I’ve come to the conclusion that I’ll never understand why things happen or why I’d choose to live through them during this lifetime. It’s beyond me. I no longer am mad at my soul and I’m starting to understand that we are one entity in two forms. I’m still learning. I’ve also concluded that my soul knows more and better than I do, and when I cross back over and I have that universal knowledge again, I’ll understand things better. In the meantime, I trust that there’s a reason for everything, even though I don’t often know what it is.
As humans, the big picture for us, at the most, concerns the world, while the big picture for our souls is on a much larger scale that includes the entire universe and a master plan far beyond our understanding as humans. When they plan a human life, there is much more considered than just the human perspective, and that’s the only part we as humans know.
I get that it’s hard to accept our hardships, much less understand them. The good thing is, if we don’t understand or accept that we planned our lives, it’s okay. We all just do the best we can. We’re loved unconditionally, and I’m told that someday, we’ll understand everything, although maybe not during this life.
If none of this is helpful, I understand. If nothing else, I can assure you that your parents are in a good place now, pain free, and they still watch over you. When it’s your time to cross over, they’ll be there to greet you. I’m very sorry for your pain and loss, and I wish you the very best.
